Warrior - Chapter One Hundred and Nine

There's a change and I can feel it. 

It's been in the air for a moment now, but thankfully, it's a good one.

As I watched Khushi enjoy her quiche, I couldn't help but to think of the change in her. Sure, she's still that woman I first met, with the piercing gaze full of daggers, and a foul mouth that could make an aunty faint. But unlike before, where she was guarded by four walls at all times, now she had made an entryway, allowing for someone to come in.

That someone being me.

And last night....

"I love you, warrior of mine."

"And I love you, husband of mine. Forever and always."

Last night changed everything. Khushi had put her trust in me for a while now but last night... she showed me how much she trusts me.

Looking at her now, it's hard to believe that just two nights ago, she was afraid for her life, hiding and shaking behind the curtains, and trusting only me to protect her. Looking at her now, it's hard to believe that just last night, she trusted me entirely with her mind, body, and soul. 

And yet it's all true.

It's crazy now that I think about it. Two nights ago, it felt like a nightmare but in real life, and yet last night felt like it was all a dream in reality. But the more moments Khushi and I spent together, the more it registers in my brain that all of it was real.

I don't think I'll ever be able to say it out loud to her that it all felt like a dream, she just might think I'm tacky and childish. Not to mention that wouldn't be very manly of me. At least I can admit it to myself. But I wonder what her thoughts are about it. Sure, she's the one who initiated... and I was a bit of a log- in my defense it was my first time ever, but... she wasn't bored with me, was she? Then again she did say that I was a quick learner-

"Earth to Arnav."

Snapping out of my thoughts, I blinked to see Khushi looking at me with her brow arched and a small smirk playing on her lips as she waved her fork.

"Mm, that's not the way you were gazing at me last night, so it can't be that..."

Such a devil she is.

"...so I'm rather curious what's going on in that mind of yours."

"Uh... I mean, uh...."

Why do I keep acting this stupidly?

Khushi's smirk changed into a smile, though she hid it as she went to take a sip of her iced tea.

Come on Raizada, get it together!

"Does it have to do with last night," she asked.

I tried to not let my eyes widen, but I'm sure my face gave it away.

"What about it," she asked as she placed her drink down.

I knew it! "Uh... it's just...."

Dammit, why am I behaving this way?! I'm Arnav Singh Raizada for crying out loud, I shut people down in instant! Whether it was with the old demon, or anyone or anything related to business, I took power and authority over everything. I never appreciate my time being wasted, and yet here I am, doing exactly that!

What is wrong with me-? Well maybe not wrong per se, I know what it is that affects me and makes me act this way, and she's looking at me right now with confusion.

Fuck, she's so beautiful and radiant- focus!

I quickly glanced to the side, checking on the people around us. We had gotten a seat in the corner, and there weren't others sitting around us, but rather a few tables away, but still - knowing how people react when they see us, it wouldn't surprise me if they were trying to be nosey. Fortunately, the other customers seemed occupied and there were no waiters around to bother.

This is my chance.

"About last night," I began, keeping my voice low enough for us to hear, "it's just... I was just wondering if... if-"

"If it was great for me as well," she offered.

I shook my head from side to side. "Yeah."

I swear, if I start blushing right now - especially after everything that happened last night - I will punch myself in the balls!

Khushi pinched her lips together. "I'm surprised you haven't turned red..."

Success!

"...but to answer your question, yes, it was great."

"O-oh... uh, I'm glad to hear that."

Glad to hear- what in the fuck-!

"Why, did you think otherwise?"

Well.... "Not exactly."

Her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

Uh, okay, we're talking about it. "Uh, well it's, uh... I was just- I mean I was wondering if... if I didn't bore you... last night."

Khushi's eyes slightly widened.

"Obviously that was my first time," I continued, lowly, "and I know I wasn't like the guys in the movies or the novels, so-"

"Don't."

This time, I looked at her with confusion. "Don't what?"

"Don't compare yourself to others."

"I-"

"Arnav, it's not like I didn't know you were a virgin," she said, whispering out the last part. "Regardless, I didn't go into it with any expectations. All I knew was that this was something new for you and that's that."

"...but it wasn't for you. You've mentioned it before and-"

"And there was something that I hadn't told you about it."

What the? "What do you mean?"

"Sure, I had sexual relations with my ex-boyfriend from high school, not to mention he was the first and only guy I had sex with before you came into my life. But if you recall, I had mentioned that him and I had lost it together."

She did?

"I was sixteen; my boyfriend at the time and I lost it together. It's been years since I've last been intimate with someone."

She did! "So that means...."

"That we both lost it together? Yup! Was it like the movies and novels? Absolutely fucking not! It was awkward, uncomfortable, and weird as shit!"

Oh! ...well I guess that makes me feel a little better.

"I mean we were sixteen; the most you had to go off of was playboy and porn, it was just so fucking off the first time. And we did it in the car like a bunch of sleaze balls, it was just an absolute fucking mess!"

Feeling even better now, not going to lie.

"I'm not trying to shade the guy but that's just the reality of it. The first few times were awkward, eventually it got better, and later down the line then we broke up. Some time later, I had a brief relationship in college, but things didn't pan out like that with him, and that's that. But going back to the topic of this, don't compare yourself, bugs."

For whatever reason, hearing the the pet name made me feel more better.

"Last night in its own way was... I can't believe me of all people is saying this, but fuck it - it was magical. It was romantic, it was amazing... and I felt safe. It surprises me a little that I was able to do it the way that I did, I mean I just had the worst fucking episode of my life just the night before, and yet.... Fuck, Arnav, I don't even know how I was so okay with being touched by you in the most intimate way possible after the previous night! I didn't even think about it once! I know I answered it myself when I was trying to ask if things would've been different if we had met before, but even then, all I thought about was the fact that if we had, then this wouldn't have been my second marriage. I would've just gotten married once and that's it. It didn't cross my mind that if we had met first, then I never would've experienced... experienced that."

Although Khushi appears just fine before me, I know that she's just being the strong warrior that she is, and keeping it together. But I know that deep down, to this day, it bothers her. Maybe it'll bother her for the rest of our lives, but I promise to try and keep it out of her mind and to keep her happy.

"So please, Arnav, don't think like that ever again. I know it's new for you... it was once new for me too. And in some ways... this was new for me too."

Really?

"I never thought I'd ever be able to trust a man again in the way that I trust you. I never thought I'd ever be able to have a man touch me again. Yet last night...." A small scoff escaped from her lips. "Do you remember the necklace incident? How one little graze from your fingers sent me off like that?"

That I do remember, as well as what happened later that night and holding myself responsible at first.

"Obviously you didn't trigger the episode that night, my nosey ass got me triggered, but that's besides the point; what's interesting is at that time, a touch would have me so spooked but now... I didn't even think about it once. The only thing I knew, in that moment, was that I trust you and that I love you."

In my chest, I could feel my heart jump.

Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!

Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!

"And that's all that mattered," and she smiled softly.

Khushi doesn't smile that often, but when she does, it makes me happy.

"As for now, however, the only thing that seems to matter in my head, is feeling your hands all over me and having the leviathan inside of me," she smirked.

I should've known that moment would've lasted for so long. But her words definitely made me feel something, and it wasn't just in my heart.

"But this girl must learn some restraints and to not turn into a sex-crazed maniac," she sighed, leaning back in her seat and putting her hands behind her head.

If only I could be as confident as her in this matter.

"Then again, we did just become closer, so naturally it's only normal if we can't keep our hands off of each other," she frowned slightly as she looked up in thought. "It wouldn't make us sex addicts, just potentially addicted to each other."

I like her way of thinking- what the!

"What are we doing after this?"

"Uh... whatever you want-"

"Then I'd like to do you," she winked.

Fuck, I can feel my cheeks heating!

"There's my bugs," she murmured. "I was wondering where the blushing went."

If it would go away, that would be greatly appreciated!

"I know it'll be gone one day when you're more confident with sex, but until then, I'll enjoy looking at those rosy cheeks. Hopefully one day, the only thing turning rosy are my butt cheeks," she grinned roguishly.

My eyes instantly widened at her words while Khushi only smirked at me.

Rosy- her- cheeks? This woman will be the end of me!

And, as Khushi would put it, I don't mind it one fucking bit!