Warrior - Chapter Twenty Two

Word of Arnav Singh Raizada and I getting married spread around like fucking wildfire!

It's fucking insane! For fucks sake, I can't even get a damn latte without someone trying to get a damn photo of me! Like what the fuck? Not only that, but those stupid gossip sites are also posting shit, trying to figure out shit like how we met, how we fell in love, was it love at first sight?

What garbage!

Even fucking HiLites Today tried to claim that they were the very first with the exclusive and that their previous article was what had pushed us lovers to decide to get married so quick.

What shit fucking garbage!

Going outside was starting to become a motherfucking pain! And going to the office?

Oh.

My!

FUCK!!!

Every day there would be fucking paparazzi just waiting for me to come in, as well as be waiting for me to fucking leave. For the few meetings that I had, they fucking followed after me and I felt like going up to them and smashing their cameras down to the fucking concrete! 

But this girl isn't trying to get sued, you feel me?

Though I was tempted to not give a shit.

Arnav reached out a couple of times, apologizing for the drawbacks of marrying him, but I told him he was ridiculous for thinking that. After all, all he did was bring the paps into my life, what am I bringing to the table? Trauma and evil aunties.

Between the paparazzi and aunties, you know aunties are the worst of the worst!

Arnav said that it was the other way around, but let's face it, we all know he's just lying to be nice.

Other than the nuisances of the paparazzi, things have been just fine. Ivy was super happy when she heard the news, and not just because of the future exclusives we'd be getting for the future blog. Ivy's been with me for a little over 4 years now, so she knows everything about what had happened in my life. In a way, Ivy was like a friend - a friend who worked for me, that is.

The days passed by and soon enough, it was the day of my haldi. Were Arnav and I surprised by how fast our mothers were managing to get things done? Absolutely. Were we surprised by how this was all happening so fast? Totally! Did we have a problem with it?

Well... from what I see and was getting from Arnav, I don't think he minds one bit. In fact, I think he's happy with how everything is going. But me? To be honest... I don't know. In some ways, I feel relieved! Especially knowing that no one will ever pester me with the topic of marriage ever again! Heck, if this doesn't work out either, I know my parents will definitely never bother me with the topic of marriage again. But at the same time...

I'm terrified. I am absolutely scared shitless. If things go south just like last time... I don't know what I'll do. Last time, all I did was bang an alarm clock to his head, but if something like that happens to me again this time, I don't what I'll do, or if Arnav will even come out alive from it.

Whatever the case, I just don't want another him in my life. My brain tells me not to overthink but to be on guard. My heart can't think because it's still traumatized, so my brain has to deal with the feelings department for the most part, though it doesn't get it - it's like asking a pharmacist to take care of a rocket launch. My brain also tells me not all guys are the same and that Arnav is different from him.

But let's face it - you don't know someone until you know someone. And this turned out to be perfectly true with him.

I try to shove the thoughts out of my head, though - especially on the topic of him. After all, it's my haldi today. My new future in-laws are coming and I don't need the ghosts of my past interfering with my already fucked-up mind. Instead, I focus on getting ready.

Amma had chosen out a beautiful yellow and white selwar kameez. Originally she had wanted for me to wear a sari, but given that haldi is a messy case, I simply refused to. Also, I never understood brides who get all decked out and do their makeup like crazy for a haldi. I mean it's your haldi - you know where people put turmeric all over your face? And your hands? And legs? Today ain't the day to look like Miss Universe, honey, but as the spokesperson of turmeric, you feel me?

With my makeup lightly done and my hair clipped back, I take one final look in the mirror and instantly regret it. A memory of my last haldi comes to mind, where our families had decided to do it together. At that time, I had worn a sari and Payal had done my makeup, though not so extravagantly. It was done at a reception hall, but we were separated, a small tarp dividing us. However, it was sheer, and the image of him trying to look at me keeps coming to mind.

My fists clench on their own.

Don't think of him! Don't think of him at all! Don't, Khushi, don't-!

"Di, are you ready," I hear Payal call out as she knocks at my door, causing for my heart to jump into the atmosphere.

Relax, it's just Payal, that's it. Breathe Khushi, breathe! It's okay, that was then. Focus on the present! Focus....

Payal knocks once more. "Di, you done? The guests are starting to pour in and Arnav's family are on- hold on, Ma's calling me!"

It goes quiet for a moment and I take advantage of that time to regain my composure. My thudding heart starts to calm down, thankfully, and hopefully I've managed to prevent a potential episode from happening.

There's a knock at my door again. "Di, Arnav's family just arrived. Are you ready?"

"Coming," I call out.

I take in a few more steady breaths and look at my reflection.

It's just Arnav's family and several others. That's it. You've got this, Khushi!

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out, I leave my closet and open the door to my room. I see Payal is wearing a yellow anarkali, her hair braided.

"Di, you look so simple," she frowned.

"I'm about to get slathered with haldi. Should I be in a boujee outfit?"

"Point taken! Well, come on then, everyone's waiting for you!"

She takes me downstairs and we head towards the back. Everything's been set up in the backyard, and since we have an outdoor shower as well to rinse off the chlorine from the pool, it'll be easy to just step right in there and get all of the haldi off.

Hmm... maybe I'll take a dip in the pool later.

I spot Arnav's family among the guests, my mother talking to his. However, they quickly notice us and turn to us. Shalini Singh Raizada brightens up like a damn disco ball when she sees me and it affects my mother as well, making her light up along with her.

When we reach them, we greet everyone, and before I can even try to seek blessings from my future in laws, Shalini wraps me up in a hug.

Well, okay then.

"Ah Khushi, you look beautiful! Smart choice to not wear anything fancy," she smiles.

I'm gonna hope for her sake that she's being genuine and not trolling me.

Amma leads me to the small stage that's been set up for the function and sits me down. There's bowls of haldi around me, as well as a variety of sweets and fruits. The cameraman and photographer are all set up in front of the stage. There's even a DJ set up on the side as well.

Hints of flashbacks race past my eyes and I clench my fists together.

Not today, motherfucker. Not. Today!

The ceremony begins and my parents first apply haldi on me. They're both emotional, though Amma more than Babuji, and Amma gives me a tight squeeze. Payal goes next and baby sis dolloped that shit on me. I scowled at her, but she didn't care, beaming away as everyone chuckled. But she wasn't all smiles for long because I quickly smeared some onto her with the stuff on my cheek.

"Di," she screeched out.

That outta teach you a lesson.

She does end up learning her lesson, and backs off, wiping her cheek clean with one of the towels lying around. Once she steps back, Shalini and Aryan come forward. Both look ever so happy as they apply haldi on me, and take several pictures with me. Then my other in-laws come to apply haldi on me, and then the guests get their chance and oh boy there are so many fake smiles!

Some aunties tried to hide their displeasure. Others? Not so much. It became very evident that some of these aunties were not happy with this union. Heck, some of them weren't happy with me - after all, I insulted several of these aunties.

Ballsy, I know right? And yet, here they were, applying haldi on the girl that ridiculed them. But let's face it, we all know that the only reason they're here is to impress the Raizada's. Heck, they're hoping to earn bonus points with the way their daughters are ever so dressed up.

Pathetic, I know.

When all the people are done applying haldi on me, I receive a special performance by baby sis. It's been a while since I've seen baby sis dance. Heck, it's been a fucking long time since I've danced. Amma had us get lessons ever since we were little. But I don't do that stuff anymore, I have no will for it. But seeing baby sis after so long, it was very nice to see.

With Payal's performance done, the DJ played music and everyone started dancing. I spot Aryan Singh Raizada lead his wife out to the dance floor, even though she's telling him that they shouldn't, but the man is too happy. He twirls his wife around and Shalini laughs, holding onto him as he wraps his arms around her.

I can't help but to watch them - they're so in love with each other. I mean, not many moments in and the two look like they're in their own love bubble, gazing away at each other.

What's that like? What's it like to be so in love with your significant other? What's it like to still be with someone after going through rough trials in life and then coming out on top? What is it like to have a heartbeat that matches along with your partner's?

What is love like?

Payal comes rushing to my side, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Di, come join us!"

"No Payal, I'm good."

"Oh come on-!"

"I mean it, I'm good," and I grab one of the towels around me to clean myself up a little. "I'm a mess and I need to wash up."

"Spoilsport," she scowled at me.

I ignore her and try to get up, but as I do, Amma reaches us.

"Khushi, come join everyone," she beamed.

"Amma, no-"

"What do you mean no? It's your haldii," and she takes hold of my hand. "Come on!"

"Amma-!"

Payal takes advantage of the moment and grabs my other hand as well, and the two drag me to my feet, catching me off guard. They manage to get me over to the swarm of people, where I even spot Babuji busting a few moves. In other occasions, I'd be mortified over that, but right now I couldn't care about that. Instead, I was trying to escape, but I was completely surrounded. The fake bitches-of-daughters started coming around me to act all nice and friendly, as if they really were friends of mine, trying to impress the Raizada's. I would have loved to shove these bitches off, but my mind was starting to malfunction. All I could think of was finding a way out, but I was surrounded. I was being smothered by people, people trying to reach out and grab my hand to get me to dance with them, but I kept hold of them over my chest.

Get me out, get me out, get me out, get me out, get me-!

Shalini appears in front of me and jerks her head to the side, where I see a slight clearing. She leads the way, taking me out of the swarm, and I'm finally able breathe again.

"Let's go inside for a little," Shalini said, and I nod and lead her inside.

We go into the kitchen where several of the workers are working about. They're all picking up trays of food and one by one, they take it outside. Gomez comes into the room and he turns his attention to me.

"Is there anything that I can get for you Miss," he asked.

"Some warm wet towels would be nice," I said, looking at the haldi that's still on me.

"Right away," and he leaves the room.

I gesture for Shalini to sit, and she takes a seat at one of the bar stools by the island, and I sit down next to her. Moments later, Gomez returns with a tray of towels and sets it in front of us.

"Thank you Gomez," I smiled at him.

"Not a problem. Anything else? For ma'am," he asked, looking at Shalini.

"No thank you, I'm fine," she smiled back.

"That will be all, Gomez," I smiled at him, and he gives a nod and leaves us be.

When he's out of the room, Shalini turns to me. "So, what were you thinking that had you so terrified?"

My eyes widen as I look at her. "What?"

She picks up one of the towels from the tray and takes my hand, then starts to wipe away the haldi.

"You don't have to-"

"I don't mind," she smiled, and continues her work. "So tell me, what was it that had you so scared?"

"I wasn't scared," I said defensively.

"No? That wasn't a hint of fear in your eyes? You weren't holding yourself protectively?"

My eyes slightly widened. She noticed?

Shalini lets out a soft sigh and looked at me. "I want you to know, Khushi, that if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm always there for you."

I only look at her.

"If you ever need an ear, I'm there. Of course, Chote will be there for you as well, but if a female is what you need, I'll be there for you."

I look away and shrug. "It's nothing, I just don't like dancing."

Shalini nods and one look at her face tells me we both know I'm bullshitting.

I look her up and down a moment. "You were having fun out there."

A smile takes over her face. "Oh, Aryan has always been a party person," she chuckled. "There's no stopping him, especially when he's happy."

"You both looked happy."

"We are happy," she smiled at me.

I watch her as she wipes away haldi from my other arm. "What was your haldi like?"

The smile on her face slightly falls. "Nothing like this," she tries to smile off.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning we weren't fortunate enough for a traditional haldi ceremony. Also, ours happened after our wedding," she lightly chuckled.

I look at her in confusion as she sets the dirty towel down and grabs another.

"Well, we got married quickly once we discovered I was pregnant," she explained. "Then our families banished us and society ridiculed us. With the little money we had, we lived in a small apartment above a bakery..."

Hundred bucks I know which one.

"...and we had our tiny little world. Still, I was a little sad that we didn't get to have a traditional wedding, just a quick one at the temple. So one day Aryan surprised me. He set up a small ceremony with just the two of us. He used one of my sheer red dupattas to put a veil between us, and we would reach around it to put haldi on the other."

For some odd reason, I was able to picture it perfectly.

Shalini lets out a chuckle. "He even hung the dupatta down the middle of our bed so we wouldn't see each other. At midnight, when the day of our haldi was finally over, he got rid of it so quick and promised that he would never spend another day where he couldn't see me clearly, ever again."

She sighs at the memory and I simply watch her for a moment.

"You really love him," I finally said.

"More than anyone could ever know," she smiled. "And I hope some day, you'll know that feeling, too."

I look away from her; I highly doubt that'll ever happen to me.

"Khushi... I know that after everything that's happened to you, I... I know it can't be easy for you. I could sit here all day and try to convince to you how amazing my son is, but it won't mean anything, and that's fine. Just know that whatever happens, you'll always have my support, no matter what."

I look at her for a moment. "Always?"

"Always."

Glad to know.