Warrior - Chapter Fifty Four

 Warning: themes of sexual trauma are covered in this chapter - reader's discretion is advised

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the f-?!

Springing up from my sleep, I see Khushi sitting up on the bed, scratching at her arms.

Was she just-?

But before I could even process the full thought, Khushi quickly got up, throwing the duvet aside, and she went running into the closet, absolutely hysterical.

Oh no.

Not wasting another moment, I went after her, finding Khushi in the bathroom. She was still rubbing at her skin, completely hysterical. She was even pulling at her clothes as she ran into the shower and turned it on.

"Get it off! Get it off!! Go away, please!!! Please," she cried.

Hearing her cries not only shocked me but made my heart cave in. What I had seen last time when she had her episode was nothing in comparison to the pain that I am seeing right now. To see her like this... I just... I...

Oh Khushi....

It was hard going through the file Aman had sent me on her case with... with that monster. Having read the details she had given to the police, it just... it made me feel so disgusted that that person- wrong, devil, had tried to do what they did to Khushi.

She had no fault and yet here she is, absolutely tormented and in pain.

And I can't stand it.

"Khushi-?"

Khushi instantly whipped around with a scream, her eyes widening into large disks as she moved back in horror, pushing herself against the wall. "No! Stay away from me you monster!"

"Khushi-"

"No! No!! NO!!!!!!"

In her wary state, she tried to move back even more, but slipped and landed on the tiled floor.

"Khushi-!"

I went to go forward and grabbed the shower door, but quickly stopped myself and let it go. If she's reacting like this just from me calling out her name from here, there's no way it'll get better if I just force my way over to her.

I have to do this slowly. "Khushi... Khushi it's me-"

"No!!!! Get away! Go away! Go away, go away, GO AWAY," she screamed, shaking her head insanely before plopping it down on her knees, covering her head with her arms.

Fuck, just seeing her like this- focus Raizada, focus! You have to help her, don't get too swarmed up with your emotions right now! She comes first!

"Khushi, it's just me," I tried, saying it softly. "I'm not him, it's just me, Khushi."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no," she cried, her body swaying and rocking around and from side to side, as her hands flailed about to protect her.

"Khushi, please, it's me, listen to my voice," I said, forcing back the crack in my voice. "Listen to my voice Khushi, just listen to my voice. Listen to my voice...."

Khushi's hands stopped flailing for a moment, pausing.

It's working, it must be working! "Khushi, do you hear my voice? You know my voice Khushi, just listen to it. Listen to the sound of my voice."

Her arms slowly started to lower to her sides.

Good, it's working! "Listen to my voice, Khushi. You know who it belongs to. You know that it's me, Khushi. Listen to the sound of my voice."

Slowly, Khushi lifted up her head and looked at me. She was still absolutely terrified, but she was also very confused.

"It's me," I said softly.

Her head slightly tilted to her right, still appearing very dazed and confused. For a moment, she just looked at me, absolutely quiet.

"It's me, Khushi."

Khushi's confusion only further deepened and in her dazed state, she slowly crawled over to the shower door. As she came forward, I slowly knelt down to the ground, putting my hands against the glass door. When she reached me, she looked at me for a moment, and then she looked at my hands. Quietly, she placed her right hand over my left and her left hand over my right. Due to the glass, they weren't touching, but I didn't care to think about that. I watched as Khushi silently lined up her palms to mine, and when they did, realization struck across her face. Her eyes slightly widened and darted to mine, looking at me.

She knows it's me.

Khushi let out a heavy sigh and she leaned her forehead against the glass, and I couldn't help but to do the same, placing it where hers was.

She's back.

Moments go by and we just quietly sit there. However, I realized that the shower was still running and Khushi was completely soaked in her clothes.

"Khushi, you could get sick," I said softly.

Khushi only let out a small hum in return, making no effort to move. It's clear by looking at her that she was absolutely drained. And as she moves slightly away from the door, it's obvious that even that was too much for her.

"Khushi, I'm going to get you a robe, okay? I'm going to quickly go and get your robe."

Khushi doesn't respond nor move, so I quickly got up and grabbed one of her robes and placed it aside. With the shower still running, there's no point in giving it her now. 

But she's so exhausted, how do I...? I'm going to have to do it.

"Khushi, I'm going to open the shower door now, okay? I'm going to come in now so I can turn off the water. Is that okay?"

Again, she didn't say anything nor move, so I opened the shower door and entered. Khushi doesn't move whatsoever as I pass by her and go to turn the shower off, getting soaked in the process. With the water turned off, I turned back to Khushi, who was still completely motionless.

She's completely soaked. Putting her robe on her will be completely useless. I'm going to have to dry her off with towels first. So that means....

"Khushi, I'm going to have to pick you up now, is that okay? You're completely soaked, I have to move you so that you can get dry."

Once more, she remains quiet and motionless.

I can't just leave her here like this.

Going over to her side, I slowly took her into my arms. When Khushi didn't recoil nor force herself free, I picked her up and carried her out of the shower and placed her down on the counter. Her tank top and shorts were sticking onto her, so I have to make quick work of drying her. Reaching over, I grabbed a towel and dried her up, then ran it through her hair. I noticed that Khushi was watching me, but I focused on the task at hand. With that done, I tossed the towel into the hamper, then grabbed Khushi's blow dryer and tried to dry her hair. I've never worked with one of these before, nor blow dried anyone's hair for that matter, but I'm trying my best to do the task at hand. In fact, I'm trying so hard, that I didn't even realize when Khushi had gripped onto the sides of my shirt.

After doing the best that I could do, I quickly tried to dry her clothes with the blow dryer a little, hopefully the hot heat having done something. I then grabbed her robe and put it on her, picking her up slightly so that I could properly wrap her up. Since Khushi has barely moved on her own, I highly doubt she'll get up on her own to go to the closet and change. But as I'm about to ask her permission to pick her up, I quickly remembered that even I'm soaked.

Fuck! ...well... I guess I could just get rid of my shirt for now.

Reaching back, I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it into the hamper. I watched Khushi briefly, in case my current condition triggered her, but she remained quiet and brought her hands back to my sides.

"If it's alright with you, I'm going to pick you up now, Khushi; okay? I'm going to take you into the closet now. Is that okay?"

No response came once again, so I picked Khushi up into my arms. Surprisingly, her legs somewhat wrapping around me, and I carried her into the closet. I placed her down on the island and went through her clothes. I found a simple gray henley dress that she could easily pull on and stay cozy in, so I grabbed it. But as I went back to Khushi and stood before her, I realized something.

Khushi has barely been moving at all. In fact, it's only been her eyes that have been moving so much, watching me as I move, as well as her hands, which is to only replace them at my sides.

"Khushi, you're still in your wet clothes. You need to change out of them."

I held the dress up for Khushi, but she made no sign of moving. All she did was look at me, still holding onto my sides.

Uh.... "Khushi, you need to change or else you'll catch a cold."

All Khushi did was blink, still looking at me while holding onto my sides.

Um.... "Khushi, you can't stay in these wet clothes. You'll get sick."

Again, Khushi made no effort of moving.

But I can't just leave her in her wet clothes like this! What do I-?

No. No, no, no, no... no, I can't. I can't... I can't! I. Can't!

No, I can't change Khushi out of her wet clothes! I can't! I-!

Wait, what if I were to get mom to help? But it's so late at night.... And if she were to see Khushi like this- no, I can't tell her. Even mom would get devastated seeing her like this and it wouldn't help the situation. The same thing applies if I tell Kaki Ma or Choti Ma. Plus, I promised Khushi that I'd never tell anyone about her episodes. So that means....

Shit, do I really have no other choice? Is there really no other? But doing this might make things worse for Khushi! And I don't want to... not after what I just saw, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if because of me....

I looked back over at Khushi, finding her still watching me quietly while still holding onto my sides.

I can do this - I have to do this or else Khushi will get sick.

"Khushi, I'm going to help you change now, is that okay? I'm going to help you out of your robe and help you change out of your wet clothes and into something dry, is that okay?"

I really hoped that Khushi would respond this time and say something, but again, she remained quiet. All she did was look at me, not uttering a word. What she did do, however, was let go of her grip on me.

What the-?

She's trusting me... she's trusting me to....

Well, I won't break her trust.

I brought my hands up to her shoulders and clenching my eyes shut, I pushed her robe off.

That's right, I'm going to do this without looking at her, and hopefully, without touching her wrongly.

Taking her arms out of her robe, I blindly searched for her sides, and when I caught hold of her tank top, I pulled it up over her head and placed it aside. Then taking a deep breath, I searched for her shorts, which thankfully I was able to find quickly. Helping her out of it, I picked her up a little to easily get it off of her, then placed it aside. With her robe, I tried dabbing her dry wherever I could.

Okay, that wasn't so hard... I think?

Now to help her into her dress....

Reaching to the side, I managed to find the dress I had taken out. Somehow managing to pool it up so I could get it through her head, I placed her arms through it, and properly pulled it down. When the task was finally done, I slowly opened my eyes, finding Khushi still looking at me and her hands back at my sides.

Despite it being however many minutes it's taken me to do this task, the lost look in her eyes remained. They were still pretty much empty as she looked at me.

That motherfucking cunt is going to get so fucked up if I ever come across his motherfucking face.

Khushi let out a yawn, her eyes unable to stay open. But before I can take her to the bed, I have to put her wet clothes away.

"Khushi, I'm going to have to put your wet clothes and robe in the hamper, okay? It's going to take me a few seconds."

Quietly, Khushi let go of my sides, and I quickly grabbed all of the wet stuff and tossed them into the hamper before returning to her. As soon as I stepped in front of her, Khushi once again took hold of my sides.

I wonder why she's been doing that...?

"I'm going to pick you up now and take you to bed, Khushi. Is that okay?"

Letting go of her grip from my sides, she made it easy for me to pick her. Once I took her into my arms, Khushi wrapped her arms and legs around me, and laid her head on my shoulder, nuzzling into me. The feeling was very... foreign. I've never felt anything like this before.

I've never experienced anything like this before.

Stepping out of the closet, I walked over to the bed and placed Khushi down on her side. I placed the duvet over her, and when I turned to leave, Khushi's hand shot out to mine. When I looked back at her, her eyes were filled with fear, silently pleading for me to not go anywhere.

It's just like last time.

"I'm going to have to grab my pillow. Is that okay, Khushi?"

She looked over to her right, seeing that there weren't any other pillows, then nodded. Briefly she let me go, and I could feel her watch me as I grabbed my pillow and went around the bed to put it down. As soon as I laid down, Khushi quickly moved over to my side, gripping onto me. One hand took hold of my left, while the other wrapped itself around me. Seeing the expression on her face, it became clear that being next to me gave her comfort - gave her security.

Made her feel protected.

I did vow to her that I would always protect her, and just like I protected and took care of her tonight, I would do it forever, no matter what.