Warrior - Chapter Eighty Five

As I made my way home, I called up baby sis. As I expected, squirt greeted me with a pissy attitude, making me roll my eyes. Her pissy mood, however, quickly faded when I told her that I would do the dance routine, making her squeal with joy. However I quickly threatened her that if anyone got wind of it, especially Amma, I would not do the performance whatsoever, to which Payal quickly agreed with. She told me she'd call me later once she spoke to Radhika and Vikrant to inform them of the good news, so I let baby sis go.

By the time I got back to Raizada mansion, it was getting close to 8 o'clock. It's my fault for being this late, I had to take a moment to myself and mope, taking a trip to a frozen yogurt shop and wallow in my misery.

I don't think I can give the love that he feels for me, in return.

Fucking hell, this shit isn't going to leave my mind any time soon.

Damn fucking right it isn't.

Shut the fuck up!

Dev quickly came over as I pulled up in front of the mansion and he took the car from me to park it. Entering the mansion, there wasn't a single Raizada in sight, just a few workers preparing the dining room, no doubt for dinner.

Better go wash up, then.

Heading upstairs, I made my way to my room. As soon as I stepped in, my eyes landed on Arnav, who was sitting on a chair, laptop in hand, headphones on his ears. Arnav normally doesn't use headphones, at least, not unless he's working out, from what I've noticed.

Among other things you've noticed.

I thought I told you to shut the fuck up!

Shutting the door behind me, I headed to the closet. Arnav must've noticed me because I hear him call out to me.

"Oh, hey, Khushi, you're finally back," he said as he took his headphones off and placed his laptop down, then followed after me into the closet.

I don't say anything, putting my bag down on the island, and then I sat down on the bench and took my shoes off.

"Everything okay," he asked softly.

I wiggled my toes a little and hummed in return. "Just tired."

"Oh.... Well dinner should be ready soon-"

"I'm not that hungry."

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm really not; especially after all the frozen yogurt I had - not to mention I loaded that shit with toppings.

I might have to punish myself with the gym later. Or heck, since I'm going to be doing this stupid dancing thing, I'll just punish myself with that!

"Oh... okay."

"Hmm.... I better hit the shower."

Getting up, I was about to head to the bathroom, when Arnav called out to me again.

"Khushi, you're mad at me, aren't you?"

Oh geez, I can't deal with this now!

"Khushi-"

"Arnav, please!" I turned back around to face him. "I've had a really long day today and I'm tired. I want to take a nice cooling shower to the point where I might turn into a fucking popsicle stick! There's more than enough of things on my mind and none of them include even a hint of me being angry with you. In case you haven't noticed, my mind doesn't fill up with the thought of you - at all!"

Liar! Liar! All your bougie lace panties on fire!

Bitch, shut your fucking trap!

Arnav's eyes slightly widened, looking a little taken aback. "O-oh, uh-"

A knock came at the door. "Dinner's ready," we heard Shalini Singh Raizada call out.

"Be down soon," Arnav hollered back, and then looked at me.

"You better get going," I said softly.

Arnav quietly nodded in return and left the closet, grabbed his phone, then left the room. As soon as the door shut, I let out a heavy sigh.

Why the fuck are you being a bitch to him?! He doesn't deserve it! Besides, Dr. Leela said-!

Oh don't come at me with that bullshit, you bitch! You are not going to use that against me!

Arnav doesn't deserve to be punished!

He's not getting punished! He's-! He's... he's...

Yeah, he's what, huh?

He's... he's just getting the cold shoulder for now.

Where the fuck is there any difference?

There's a huge difference, fuck off, I'm exhausted!

Not allowing anymore thoughts to go through my head - especially of the stupid voice's - I got out of my clothes and took a long, cold shower, relieving my heated body. I mean asides from the fact that it's a hot summer day, my body also felt heated from the events of the day. The fact that I went to Dr. Leela's....

The first time I met Dr. Leela was right after... that had happened. Several therapists had been suggested and she was on the top of the list so I ended up choosing her. I had spoken with her in her office the same way I had today. It was Dr. Leela who had suggested the group therapy thing since it had helped others. Obviously we all know how that worked out for me so... I just never went back. I gave up on therapy but after feeling the way that I did yesterday....

I never expected myself to be back there.

And yet I did; I went back to her office because... because of the fact that Arnav is... is....

Say it....

Sigh... because Arnav is in love with me. The fact that it triggered me in the way that it did, I-

It's not like he triggered you in a negative way though, not like-

Did I not tell you to shut the fuck up? What part of shut the fuck up do you not understand? I am trying to relax here!

Whatever!

Ugh, anyways... I just never expected myself to go back there again... and yet I did. And now, I've actually managed to agree to baby sis' ridiculous request!

I can't believe I allowed myself to do that in my moment of weakness. Ah fuck, it's too late to turn back now.

Dive back into old hobbies, huh? ...let's just how this shit show goes!

*~*

Because I was so drained, I pretty much knocked out as soon as I got in bed. I was so deep in my sleep, that I didn't even wake up when Arnav got back. In fact, I didn't wake up until my alarm went off in the morning.

The morning went per schedule as it usually did, and when I was about to head downstairs, Arnav spoke up.

"Will you be taking your car again, today?"

Turning back around, I looked Arnav up and down, who was clad up in a charcoal suit, putting his watch on.

Hmm, do I need my car today? "Yeah, I've got another errand today."

Arnav simply hummed in return.

I will have to make a stop at the Academy again today, unfortunately, so yeah, it's better that I do take my own car.

After going down and having breakfast, I headed to leave, taking my Aston Martin once again. Once getting to the office, it was nothing but work, keeping myself focused. Given that it was a Friday, I decided to get off an hour earlier, even letting Ivy off early as well, and when the day was done, I made my way to the Academy. When I got there, I found Radhika and Vikrant in the middle of a rehearsal with class full of teenagers. The way many of them had their hair braided and dawned anklets on their feet, reminded me of a teenage version of myself.

"Oh, hey, Khushi!"

Looking away, I brought my attention to Radhika, who was making her way to me.

"I'm so glad you're here! Thank you so much for agreeing to this! We really wouldn't know what to do had you not agreed to this."

I hummed in return. "Don't get your hopes up so quick; I'm quite stale since I haven't danced in a long ass while. Not to mention, even when I do practice, they will be only during the weekends since I'm a business woman first."

"That's understandable, but I do remember you being a quick learner," she smiled softly. "Besides, like your sister mentioned, we took a lot of the choreography from one of your own performances with just a few changes. I'm sure you'll get it all very quickly, especially once your memory kicks in."

"I remember squirt mentioning that. Which track is it that I have the displeasure of revisiting?"

Radhika couldn't help but to laugh. "Still quite the jokester, huh?"

Not one part of me is joking.

"The track you will be performing to is sajan sajan teri dulhan."

"Ugh," I grimaced.

"Oh come on! You loved it the last time you performed to it."

"I did not love it at all."

"Then why were you beaming with joy every time we rehearsed, as well as when you performed?"

"Would you have preferred that I moped throughout the entire performance? I'm sure the audience would've loved that! Especially my mother! And besides, it was Vikrant who would always say you should have a smile on your face while dancing."

"You're absolutely correct," he said as he joined us.

"See," I shrugged.

"Oh sure," Radhika chuckled as she rolled her eyes. 

"So Khushi, are you excited," Vikrant asked. "I'm assuming you already know which song it is you'll be performing to with the girls."

"Yes, and I hate it."

Vikrant let out a chuckle as well. "So you say now. Anyways, do you have the footage from your performance of it?"

"Nope, but my mom probably does somewhere. I'd ask, but then again, I'm not letting her know about this so that she can't turn into a banshee on my ass."

"I should have it saved somewhere," Radhika said. "I'll just email it to you, and I'll also send you the footage of Payal's rehearsals so that you can compare the two. You're coming in tomorrow to learn the steps, right?"

"I'll do my homework tonight so that way I'm a bit prepared," I smiled fakely.

"Excellent! Let me go and email it to you right now. Still the same email address right?"

I nodded and Radhika went off to email me the footage from her laptop.

"Oh yeah," Vikrant said. "Since you'll be performing, do you want to invite your family?"

"Vikrant, I'm trying to keep this as hush-hush as possible. Squirt obviously knows, as does one of my brother in-laws, and I'm hoping to keep it as small of a circle as possible."

Vikrant let out another chuckle. "I understand; well, whatever the case, we're really thankful that you're doing this for us, especially the girls. It's their first performance after all."

"You have some weird students. I would've been yelling with joy if I were spared of dancing in front of a crowd."

"Yeah right," he grinned with a roll of his eyes. "Say what you will Khushi, but Radhika and I know very well how much you enjoyed being on stage."

"Yeah right!"

"Very much right; you could say that you were smiling because you were taught to do so during a performance, but your eyes would prove how much you loved it. It's just unfortunate that you don't anymore," he smiled sadly.

I simply looked away.

"I can only hope that by doing this performance, hopefully some of that spark will return to you."

Huh! I don't know whether to call him smart or dumb for his wishful thinking.

Whatever the case, one can only wonder what this performance will bring.