Warrior - Chapter Ninety Eight

Once I was in the car, Dev pulled away, heading out to the golf course. Since I wanted to just get it out of the way, I pinched my nose and gulped the contents that was in the tumbler, and it was definitely no potion at all! Sludge maybe, but definitely not a potion! When I finished it, I put the tumbler in a cup holder and grabbed a bottle of water that was already placed in another cup holder, and chugged that shit.

"Thanks for keeping this ready," I said, waving the bottle at Dev.

"No problem, ma'am," he smiled back into the rear view mirror.

Letting out a sigh, I molded myself into the seat and rested my forehead in my hand.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. You're smart Khushi, I know you are. Whatever it is that's bothering you, I suggest you think everything through - from the beginning of it up until now, think it all through. Maybe that'll help you."

Sigh... well, I guess now's the time to do it.

Think back to the beginning....

The beginning, huh? To think that was only a few months ago... yet it somehow feels even more than that. But if we're going to go back to the beginning, then... then I guess it would have to be the day that Arnav and his parents came over.

Yes, that's exactly where you should start! Everything with Arnav, after all, started from there.

Hmm... that was the first time I ever saw Arnav. Sure, his pictures have been shared in the papers and what not, but we all know at this point that I never cared. I mean even a little after that, I still didn't, to the point where I was oblivious of his tattoos-

You're jumping the gun, focus!

Right, right, first day... first day....

My family sure was crazy that day, Amma especially with the whole hiding me upstairs thing. Then we finally went down and....

I must admit, the dress was banging!

Baby sis does have good taste, I'll give her that... she was definitely more excited than I was- heck, everyone other than me was. I wasn't even really caring to pay attention when we were going to join the others, I was more focused on the pool!

But then you saw him.

But then I saw him. If I remember correctly, he wore... a white button down, navy blue waistcoat, and jeans, as well as... loafers?

That is correct, one point!

Shut up! ...I also was thinking about him doing business with us instead of taking the whole rishta thing seriously.

But we got the best of both worlds, so to say.

You would think that.

Well, don't you as well? Arnav now has a 10% claim in Rupam and will you deny that things have been good with Arnav?

Well... no, things have been good. I mean, maybe so much didn't happen between us that day, but... okay, well not much happened the next time I saw him either at the golf course, other than the fact that I discovered that he has tattoos.

Which now even contains an image of you as a valkyrie.

Sigh... that's true. At the time it was just surprising cause I didn't expect him to be the type, but then again who am I to judge who can and can't have tattoos? It was still shocking regardless. I mean him in the black short sleeve polo with his bulging muscles and tattoos showing off....

Well, look at that - another memory still intact so ding! Ding! Ding! Two points!

Oh for the love of-

Go on, go to the next point in time you saw him.

Well, that would be the gala. Ivy sure got the shocker that day, that's for sure. For me... well according to squirt, I had Cinderella shook with my blue dress. Meanwhile Arnav... well he had the attention of a prince, just clad up in a suit.

True, true... also, three points!

It was pure chance. I think Arnav made mention that he moves around events so that he doesn't attend too many, as well as different ones, so it limits them as well as limits interactions with the paparazzi. It was a bit surprising, to say the least, when he just popped up at the bar and had his whiskey.

You remembered his drink, four points! And the event thing, so five! Anything else from that night?

That was the first time I actually talked to him. I mean we actually had a real conversation and... it wasn't bad. Easy, even, if I do say so myself. Then Harry called, I had to leave and... that's when I saw Arnav from the window, standing outside with his security and... and he watched me leave.

That's six points.

Why did he do that? Did I ever ask? Has this ever crossed my mind before?

Just continue to go forward at the right pace, it'll all start coming back. You're doing well so far.

Okay, uh... there was the stunt with HiLites, which oh my fucking gosh, I still hate them to this day! I had an episode-

Don't Khushi, not right now.

Right, right, this is about Arnav right now, not that... or him.

Exactly, so continue, you're doing well so far.

Uh, well in some ways the episode played a part. It made me sneak into Amma and Babuji's room to get Mama's phone number. Her and I spoke, I told her I'd meet Arnav, and that led to Arnav texting me the first time.

Do you remember the text?

Yeah, he was all like hi Khushi, this is Arnav Singh Raizada.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Seven points!

Ugh....We texted a bit after that- the boys even called me through his phone and I remember that incident well, with all the calling and phone tossing. It ended up making me talk to Arnav on the phone cause I didn't know what had happened, and our date as one of the boys like to put it, who I think was NK now that I think about it, was set.

And that first date soon arrived.

It was a date, wasn't it? I mean Arnav definitely considers it that, remembering the date and all.

Don't you?

At the time? Not really because I was going in with a more business-mind. Now...yeah, I guess I would. I mean I was all dressed up in that ruby red dress, Arnav all formal in his suit and tie. And I mean, it went nothing like the way I expected it to. I found out Arnav was an atheist and that he's a virgin.

Eight and nine points.

I told him about my episodes and instead of him thinking of me as a freak, he...he supported me. And I learned of that small, polite smile of his... something that I haven't been getting a lot of recently.

Does it bother you?

...yes. I didn't realize it until now but... yeah, it does. I noticed it a few times that night. I also saw the emotions he went through - emotions that I could relate with since I had experienced similar things. ...I guess we have some similarities. I also found out that he was a virgin that night-

And continues to be.

Oh stop it you! That's not what's important here.

Right, right, ten points.

Only one point for all that?

Fine, eleven, continue!

Ugh! ...that was the first time he blushed. When he admitted to never dating before, he blushed a little. Now he blushes constantly, but back then... it was different. So what changed?

I think that's obvious.

Sigh... right, his love for me. But his eyes had flickered that night when he saw me, and the way he had watched me leave the time prior... is it possible he felt something then?

Who knows- well, except for Arnav; he's the only one that can truly answer that.

Right.... Wow, there sure was a lot that night. I mean all of that, the business proposal, telling him about my episodes and him saying that he'd be there for me - which he has. ...that night was so eventful! He even kissed my hand, which let's face it, if Arnav tried to do that now, he'd blush into oblivion and dissolve to the ground!

Tee hee!

I know right! No way he'd be able to that now! And yet back then... now that I'm thinking about it, that lingering feeling I felt all those months ago, I can feel it again now, on my hand.

Twelve points.

I saw Arnav again after that- well, first Mama, Kaki Ma, and Choti Ma, although at the same time I didn't exactly see them, Payal did. And she was the one letting me know that Arnav joined them. Then we saw him again when we went back to the car and he was in the shiny, jet black Lamborghini Urus- well, the car was there, he wasn't at first, but he came out of the Raizada-famous bakery. Squirt panicked and ducked, but me... I couldn't look away.

Why?

Honestly, I don't know. I just knew that I couldn't. I mean I'm not one to care, really. It's funny, our expressions did the talking. I have no idea what that was, but... it's weird how this was easy for us to do all the way back then.

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen points.

What happened after...? Right! Him and I texted and... he said he had hope... to which I said was a dangerous thing. But thinking of where we are now, maybe he wasn't so wrong for having it. After all we hit three months of marriage tomorrow. Yet at the time... wow! ...then I had a nightmare, which let's face it, was the shove that I needed to make me agree to this marriage. While Arnav agreed to it cause his parents chose me, I agreed to it to get my parents off of my back and get the protection I knew Arnav would be able to provide me, should anything happen in regards to him.

Mm, in your case, I'd agree, but for Arnav, I don't think so.

No?

I think another factor made him agree.

Which is?

Don't be daft, Khushi. You know why....

You mean... you think he had feelings for me already?

Don't you think so?

I... I guess. When I saw him after agreeing to the marriage, he had asked me why I had agreed, and I was honest with him. It's not like he didn't have a problem with it- I mean he promised that he'd protect me... forever.

Do you remember that day well?

How can I not? He asked to meet at the park, which I know now that the side we went to then was the closest to his house. Squirt was also right about it not being so packed, but.... And he was dressed so casual that day,  I mean the beige hoodie - which I've definitely seen in the closet, obviously, just like I've seen the other outfits I mentioned before - as well as his black denim. Simple... yet not so simple.

Sixteen points.

He even kissed my hand then. We also spoke about his Anubis tattoo and he explained the story behind it. ...that's when I learned that Arnav had a monster in his life as well.

Seventeen, eighteen points.

He gave me cannolis afterwards, when we were leaving. Actually, he had said that he would get them for me the next time he saw me, and that's actually what happened. And you know what, none of the Raizada's are wrong for loving those cannolis, they are so fucking delicious! ...and then I had Monica make the chocolate cupcakes with chocolate buttercream for him- which by the way, I miss so fucking much! I hate to get those sometime soon!

Agreed, but focus! Also, Nineteen, twenty points.

What are these points for?

You'll see.

Uh... okay. Um, the next time I saw him was at the engagement, which was at the mansion, which also happened to be the first time I saw this damn museum! Funny how I rarely refer to it as one these days.

Cause you've gotten used to it.

In some ways, I guess. But back then, that was the first time I went there and met everyone. The things I thought of Choti Ma then, but boy has she changed, Anyways, we all went into the ballroom, we mingled, and then it was time for Arnav and I to exchange rings.

Glancing down at my hand, I looked at the ginormous, emerald-cut diamond sitting on my ring, as well as it's tiny diamond buddies.

That sure is some rock!

Hmm, not to mention its babies. It's strange how used to it I've gotten but back then, I think even the walls of the ballroom gasped in shock, forget the cockroach aunties. ...once that was done, I think that was when that dumb idiot of an aunty made her stupid comment with her herd of dumb aunties. That's the first time Arnav and his parents saw me in action, actually. Funny how Amma was straight up terrified but the none of the Raizada's were.

Right! I think all of this can jump it up to... twenty two points. Continue.

Arnav and I then went to the fountain, exchanged some words there. I thought I was a hypocrite but Arnav disagreed. He said that I was justified for feeling the way that I did. Then I gave him the cupcakes, which he obviously enjoyed, but couldn't eat all of them then. We went back inside and went to the kitchen, I met Nigel for the first time, then Mama came in and found us and she gave me a quick tour. That was the first time I saw our room.

His room, at that point in time, but it's nice to hear you call it 'our' room.

Well it is, so.... But right, at that time it was only his room. What did I know at the time of all the things that would happen in there.

Right, like the pillow thing-

Don't! Just... moving on; I saw the room, we all joined the others, mingled some more, followed each other on social media, although let's face it, it's been dead since the wedding- for me and Arnav at least. We don't take any pictures together so there wouldn't be any tagging or anything, so of course it would be dead. Anyways, there was all of that, the news of the wedding broke out and fucking HiLites was scummy again! Finally all the different receptions happened, Mama was definitely there for me during my haldi. Then there was Arnav's, and finally the wedding.

What a day that was....

It really was something.... Not that I exactly enjoyed my own wedding given my pessimistic outlook, but there was some fun in there with all the dancing and partying. Leaving was hard, but Arnav sure was kind and got us those burgers, which were so bomb! ...our first night wasn't so bad.

There was no sex!

Why would there be?! And at least Arnav's not a douche, he didn't try any funny business! Instead he kicked himself off of his own bed and slept on the floor! Who does that?! A sweetheart, that's who!

Oh? A 'sweetheart' huh? I'll have to give double points for that so... twenty eight points.

This points thing is getting really-

"Ma'am?"

Huh?

Snapping out of my thoughts, I realized that we were at the golf course.

"Are you alright," Dev asked.

"Yeah, I'm good, just lost in my thoughts. Thanks Dev."

I stepped out of the car and quickly stretched, still feeling slightly like a zombie. Dev went around and got my golf bag, and he followed me into the center. Once I got all of my stuff sorted out and had a golf cart, Dev went to put it down.

"By the way," I said to the receptionist, "my husband, Arnav Singh Raizada, is here but he failed to mention where on the course he is. Could you point me in the right direction?"

The woman nodded and looked up the information, then let me know where to go. With that, I headed to my golf cart, let Dev go, and made my way to Arnav.

Shit, I'm already here and I'm not even done thinking!

Well hurry up! You have some time, drive slowly!

Fine! Fine! Where was I? Right, Arnav gave up the bed, he was always a sweetheart... and I had my first episode after marriage. 

I remember that, clearly.

He was there for me. He protected me, took care of me - even the second time he did, but back then... yeah. I was a bit of a jerk after but... I mean it was all new, I never had to deal with anyone before cause I'd deal with my episodes alone... but he understood. Then we went to my parents' place, stayed there, learned about each other- actually I learned more about him than anything... more about him and the family.

Thirty one points.

Fuck! There's just so much-!

Focus Khushi! You're getting closer and running out of time, just focus!

But what else is there?

The few months of marriage you two have spent together, duh! I mean it's been eventful!

Eventful is putting it shyly! Sure, there was the the other golf course thing and our second date,  the incident before that gala when I had the emerald dress on, there was the laptop incident leading to the episode, and obviously that whole thing was a big deal! I mean I was naked in front of Arnav and not once did he even look at me! Then there was the moment I checked him out at the park and kissed his cheek for the first time, eventually he left for this trip and... I hated it.

Oh?

I hated how he was away for so long. It fucking sucked! He was away for son long- sure, I got to spend time with the family more and got to know them better, but still! ...I missed him. In all honesty, I am admitting today that I missed him.

Fifty points - that's a whole lot of points that just goes to show how much this man means to you. I mean everything that's happened, it's been a lot! An adventure, if you will! There was a time where all you could think about was when would you go back to your parents, when would you go back to your own room, how long would it be till you would have to leave Raizada mansion... and yet now, you said it to Arnav yourself that you don't want to be alone. ...you don't want to be away from him.

Pressing down on the brake of the golf cart, in the distance, I saw not only papa in-law, but Arnav as well.

You're right... I don't.

Do you remember what Dr. Leela asked you that day? If you loved Arnav? She said something at the very end before you left.

"I need you to be honest, Khushi - I need you to be honest with yourself. Take everything away - the past, your pain, your hurt, your fears, your trauma - everything! Do you love him?"

I remember.

Good.... Can we agree to work together from now on? Go back to how it used to be?

Yes... yes we can.