Warrior - Chapter Ninety Nine

Getting out of the golf cart, I made my way over to the Raizada men. The two security guards who stood by, greeted my with a curt nod.

"Morning, gentlemen," I said, making my presence known.

Arnav, who was mid swing, immediately paused and looked back at me in shock. Even papa in-law looked at me in shock, but his beaming smile was obvious.

"Khushi," the senior Raizada grinned, and he made his way over to me and hugged me. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be out for the rest of the day with an ice pack to your head. I heard you all had a lot of fun last night," he grinned teasingly.

"Yeah, we did," and I glanced over at Arnav, who was glancing at me from the corner of his eyes before shifting his focus back on the golf ball.

"I hope NK wasn't too much of a fuss," he chuckled. "So what brings you here? Did you have a meeting?"

From behind him, Arnav swung his club, hitting the ball and sending it in the air.

"No... actually Pops, I'm here because I need to talk to Arnav."

The shock in Pops' face was clear, given that this was the first time that I referred to him in this way, and not as papa in-law. Even Arnav was a bit surprised.

"You don't mind if I steal him for a bit, do you?"

"Who, me? Never! Steal him all you want," and he leaned in a bit closer. "Besides it gets him off my case for losing so many golf balls," he chuckled.

"Again? Really," I smirked, arching my brow at him.

He did the same thing last time!

Pops let out a loud laugh. "Oh no Khushi, not you too!"

I couldn't help but to roll my eyes, though I was grinning. "I won't say a thing, and I'm sure another make out session with Mama will have her pacified, completely."

"I like the sound of that! I'll get right to it then, you kids enjoy yourself," and he swung his golf bag onto his shoulders and headed out.

Well, at least I have Arnav to myself now- well there's a sentence I never expected to use.

When Pops and his security guard were some distance away, I turned to Arnav, finding him looking at me as he held onto his golf club.

"Hey," I said lamely.

Oh for fuck's sake, I sound so lame!

"What are you doing here," Arnav asked softly.

"Isn't it obvious? I came here to see you."

"Why? You got very drunk last night and threw up in the parking lot. You should be in bed, getting rest-"

"I know what happened last night... I remember it."

Arnav's eyes slightly widened.

"All of it."

Arnav looked away and grabbed another golf ball and set it up.

"Arnav, please don't ignore me-"

"I'm not... I'm just looking away."

I couldn't help but to toy with my hands. "You're mad at me."

"No I'm not," and he swung his golf club, hitting the ball and sending it high in the air.

"Liar."

Arnav let out a sigh and looked at me. "I'm not-"

"Arnav, the last thing you said to me was that was cruel of you Khushi. So I would think that yeah, you're mad at me-"

"I'm not mad, believe me... I'm not."

"Then?"

"...I can't explain it."

"Try... for me, please."

He let out another sigh and placed his golf club in front of him, slightly leaning on it. "Look Khushi, I get it - I get that it's going to be hard for you to put your trust in me because of what's happened to you in the past, I get it. And in order for you to gain your trust in me, you'll test me to see if you really can, and I understand that as well. ...but what you did last night was cruel."

"Arnav-"

"Why would you put me in a position like that? It was one thing when you were unable to move due to trauma and your episode, but that last night... that wasn't anything like that at all. And yet you did what you did, anyways."

Pinching my lips together, I looked down at the ground. "Trust me, I'm not particularly proud of what I did," I murmured.

"Then why did you do it?"

I felt my lips slightly quiver, so I bit down on it. "I... I admit all of the alcohol did influence me and amplified things for me. The whole thing I said about the rollercoaster stuff... it's true. I care but then I don't, I want to be alone but I don't want to be away from you- I'm like a fucking walking,  talking paradox! It's my fear that stops me and jumbles me up and I... I... I hate it! I'm scared of you but I don't want to be scared of you!"

Arnav glanced down at the ground. "Last night you said you didn't know if you want me," he said softly.

"I know... but on my way here, I thought long and hard about everything between us - from the moment we met, up until now, and I... it's like I said Arnav - I don't want to be away from you."

His wide eyes looked up to mine.

"I don't think that I can. I mean I realized how torturous it was when you were away for all those weeks and I hated it! I absolutely hated it! I realize that now and when you came back... fuck Arnav! What I really wanted to do then was just run up to you and hug you! I even saw it playing out in my head and when I realized that it wasn't real-! ...at first I was so confused but eventually.... Recently I realized that, that was how I truly felt - that was what I really wanted to do... but I was in denial of my own feelings because I was scared of you being in love with me."

"I do love you," he said softly.

"I know... I don't fully understand how, despite the laundry list you gave me and still have more to add on, but.... I'm tired of being scared, I don't want to be scared anymore. There was a time when I was scared to face the world after what had happened to me, but I faced it. I dealt with it, I conquered it, and now... now I want to conquer this fear."

Taking a deep breath, I moved closer to Arnav, his eyes slightly widening as I did.

"I don't want to be scared of you. I don't want to be scared of getting hurt, or what may come of it if I do."

"I told you Khushi, I don't want to hurt you."

"I know... but the future is never guaranteed, and I know that first-hand better than anyone else. I once thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with one man... now I'm taking that chance with you. I know you'll never do anything that could hurt me or harm me like that but... but if for whatever reason, things go south... then at least I'll be prepared to fight."

He took in a deep breath and let it out. "And when things don't go south and only go well?"

"Then I'll have gotten to know a wonderful man that I can proudly call my husband... maybe even lovingly."

His eyes slightly widened once more and he quickly looked down at the ground.

This is my chance....

Reaching up, I caressed his cheek, making Arnav look at me, immediately.

"I want to take a chance, Arnav. I want to take a chance at this, at conquering my fear... I want to take a chance at us."

Arnav's lips slightly parted as he gaped at me.

"I don't want to test you due to my fear. I want to get to know you better - more than what I already know. You've shared several things with me, but I want to know more about you, like the simple things I don't know! L-like your favorite color! Maybe you have a favorite number? That's a thing right? Or-or even-! I don't know your height! I don't even know something as basic and simple as that and we hit three months tomorrow-"

Arnav dropped his club to the ground and pulled me into a hug. At first I was absolutely shocked, and unfortunately a small part of me went into panic mode. But as soon as the feeling of Arnav registered in my system, as well as his scent, I relaxed. The rest of me was able to console her, calming her down, and we all just melted into the feeling, my whole being relaxing.

"You'll give me chance... won't you Arnav?"

Arnav pulled back slightly so that he could look at me. "If that's what you want."

"I do," I nodded.

He smiled at me before pulling me into a hug once more. "By the way, it's red."

"What?"

"My favorite color - it's red."

Oh! ...well then, wait a minute-!

"I don't have a favorite number, and also, I'm 6 feet 3."

What-!

Pulling back, I looked him up and down. "You're more than 6 feet? And you're muscular and have tattoos? Well dayum!"

Arnav only chuckled in return when something clicked in his head. "Khushi, did you eat?"

"No-"

Arnav immediately scowled at me and I held my hands up. 

"In my defense, I drank the potion so that's something."

"Hardly! Now come on, let's go to the restaurant and get you something to eat."

"Is this another date?"

He immediately paused and looked at me.

"I mean we had our first date, which you remember the date of very well. We had our second date here, you know."

"I remember."

"And the date?"

"May 13th."

I felt my heart thump in my chest, and without a thought, I reached up on my toes and kissed him on his cheek. "Thank you."

"For?"

"For being you."

"In that case, thank you for being you, as well," and smiled that small, polite smile of his.

It's back! And hopefully, it's here to stay.